Individual Practices

ST◊P, ACHE, & GO

Stop or Slow down

Turn towards experience or Take notice of breathing

◊bserve with Openness (thoughts, sensations, emotions, urges) (Diamond of Experience)

Pleasantness (notice Pleasant, unPleasant, or neutral feeling tone)

Allow it to be as it is, Accept the ACHE is here or (Anchoring to present with breathing)

Compassion/Curiosity/Common Humanity

Hold the experience with warmth– bring Hand to Heart or Holding touch

Expand awareness from ACHE to breathing, then to the body, then to all the senses.

&

Gratitude (that there is something you can do) then Grounding in values

Open to life, its challenges and its beauty, Orient towards experience with kindness

Copyright © Zev Schuman-Olivier, MD

Communities

MIT@2:50 offers 10-minute daily practice. The group meets at 2:50 pm eastern time every day.

How to Meditate if You’re Going through Trauma

Hi, this is Dr. Susan Pollak.

I’m a psychologist who has treated trauma for over 30 years.  So it is with some experience that I say that millions of people are feeling profoundly traumatized right now by the sudden and unprecedented upheaval in our world and the staggering numbers of lives that have been lost.  Simply stated, trauma is the response to a deeply disturbing event that overwhelms our ability to cope, causing feelings of helplessness, diminishing our sense of self and our ability to feel a full range of emotions.

If any of this is your experience, you are not alone. Traumatic experiences disrupt our lives, and can retrigger old trauma that we might ordinarily be able to cope with, but now cannot. Just keeping up with the constant onslaught of daily events is more than most of us can bear, and our “bandwidth” for processing more is diminished.

We usually cope with trauma in ways that can make it worse.  We are often told just to “get over it” and “move on.” While this can be adaptive, it can also lead to denial and numbing out. There is a saying that what we can feel we can heal.  For most of us,  the natural tendency of the mind is to distract and distance ourselves from the pain-- binge watching Netflix, working too much, sleeping, drinking, drugging, or mindless eating.  Many of our healthy habits such as exercise, yoga and daily meditation have been disrupted as well. Even those with established meditation practices are reporting that it is hard to sit still.

For the past few decades, with a number of colleagues, I have been exploring a variety of meditation techniques that are safe and grounding for those who have been traumatized.  Notably, while many forms of meditation work with the breath, for those who have a trauma history, or struggle with intense anxiety, it is often better not to do this.  So, I’d like to offer three examples of non-breath-based meditation that are taught on the Ten Percent Happier app, or that you can easily try on your own.

Now, in terms of responding to trauma, one size never fits all. Feel free to experiment to find what feels safe and comforting for you. However you meditate, remember to be as gentle and kind as possible – there is no need to muscle into addressing the trauma you might be holding. And if at any point you feel overwhelmed, feel free to open your eyes or stop.

The first practice is ‘Simply Listening.’  After you’ve settled into a comfortable seated or lying down position, listen to the sounds around you. They may be the sounds in your home, or the sounds outside, perhaps rain, traffic, bird songs. No need to name them, just let them come and go. No need to hold on to any sound. Bring your awareness to the sounds around you, noticing one sound at a time. If thoughts or feelings arise, acknowledge them with kindness, but don’t get caught in the story. If you find yourself ruminating by something that happened in the past, say to yourself, “If it isn’t happening now, it isn’t happening.” Return to the sounds around you and let them bring you into the present moment.

A second non-breath meditation practice is to pay attention to the play of light and color on your closed eyelids. Let your eyes continue to soften. Let your jaw relax and soften. Let your neck and shoulders soften. For many, this can be a new portal of awareness that feels safe and comforting. If you get distracted, just return to what you are noticing behind your eye lids.

A third option is to bring your attention to the sensations in the soles of your feet. You can do this lying down, sitting, or standing up. Just feel your feet. As you notice the sensations, let the floor hold you and meet you. Feeling the soles of the feet helps us feel anchored in the present moment and helps us develop the capacity to ground, even when we are feeling distress.  Walking meditation can also be quite calming. After feeling the soles of the feet, take one step and then another. Move at a speed that feels comfortable to you. Try to feel each step. Try this even if you are in a small apartment.

The Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh suggests that we let each step be a step of peace. Experiment with this. You might want each step of be one of compassion or kindness, connection or ease. You decide what you need. Let that quality suffuse your body and mind.

These simple meditation practices can help soothe the mind and the body so that it becomes possible to gently turn toward the trauma and pain without making them worse.  Again, what we feel, we can heal.  Give yourself that gift.

AFFECTIONATE BREATHING, from CMC’s ‘Mindful Self-Compassion’ course

Find a comfortable posture. Take a few slow, easy breaths. Let your eyes close partially or fully. Place a hand over your heart, or anywhere it is soothing, to bring affectionate awareness to yourself and your experience.

Let yourself notice the simple sensation of breathing wherever you can feel it most easily. Just feel your breath for a while with curiosity and tenderness.

When your mind wanders, gently escort it back to the sensations of breathing, like redirecting a puppy or a child who has wandered off.

Notice and feel your whole body breathe. Allow your body to be internally moved by the rising and falling of the breath. There is nothing you need to do.

Now release the breath, and allow everything that comes to awareness to be just as it is, just for now. Slowly and gently open your eyes.

Adapted from Germer & Neff (2014)

Tips for Mindful Communication

How to Mindfully Listen

1. Pause what you’re doing, set aside any distractions, and offer your full attention

2. Be aware of your posture—sit or stand in a position that is alert yet relaxed 

3. Be honest with yourself—if you aren’t able to focus, perhaps pick another time to talk 

4. Take a breath as you prepare to receive what may be pleasant or unpleasant

5. Bring openness, warmth, curiosity, and non-judgement to what you hear 

6. Notice any urges to respond (sharing your own story, giving advice, affirming, etc.)

7. Listen to your intuition by noticing emotions, thoughts, and body sensations

8. Notice when your mind wanders and bring your attention back to the speaker 

9. Notice how it feels to be giving someone your full attention

How to Mindfully Speak

1. Take a breath before responding

2. Avoid making assumptions, jumping to conclusions, or finishing their sentence

3. Practice asking open-ended questions (What was that like for you? How did it turn out?)

4. Paraphrase to clarify if you understood what they were trying to say 

5. Know that silence is also a fine and helpful response

6. Notice when you choose to speak—if you find yourself talking without having consciously chosen to do so, try stopping to leave space for the other person to talk

7. Speak your truth, and notice how it feels after you speak 

8. Notice what it feels like to have (or not have) someone else’s attention 

How to Navigate Unpleasant Moments 

1. Be aware of your own reactions when something rubs you the wrong way 

2. Notice any temptations to retreat from, tune out, or jab back at the other person

3. Notice any tension in your body (contractions, flinching, recoiling, pinching)

4. Re-set yourself by moving into a more relaxed posture 

5. Focus on your breath for a few rounds, feel your body and mind coming back to balance 

6. See if you can imagine a more generous interpretation of the situation 

7. Respond as if that generous interpretation were true and be open to what unfolds

8. If you find it difficult to manage your reactions, acknowledge the difficulty of the situation and give yourself permission to express your emotions

9. Ask yourself what you need in this moment to feel better, pausing the conversation for another time if that is what you need

- Adapted from www.mindful.org & www.tricycle.org

Making Space for Gratitude

When our systems are stressed, it is easy to lose the balance of our minds. We often fall back into unproductive habits of thinking, such as worrying about the future, ruminating about events past, or anticipating negative outcomes. These lenses twist our perception of reality. 

Practicing gratitude can help us chip away at the negative lens and cultivate a fuller sense of our lives. Because it helps us be more aware of the good things in the present moment, gratitude is also a mindfulness practice that can be incorporated into your daily life. 

Spare some space where you can write down what you are grateful for, big or small—sometimes gratitude for the seemingly most insignificant things can be the most powerful.

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